Why do some people find it so damn hard to be supportive?
Does it come from insecurity? Fear? Jealousy? Deep seated anger? Are we taught? How do we change this behaviour? How hard is it really to say something complimentary as opposed to something negative? To offer advice or share something?
Because we all want, need and crave connection. You don't have to be born a turtle to stick your neck out once in a while. We can comfortably and confidently connect via a shared interest, an idea or a notion. So we're clear- being vulnerable doesn't mean being weak or showing our soft underbellies- it's about actively reaching out, making pathways and bridges to one another.
When I was at Design College Australia I met two amazing women and to this day we're still close. I had never known the true freedom of being an absolute idiotic fool with these two, while still knowing deep down they respected me, my ideas and my intelligence. What I had forgotten in the midst of these budding friendships was that some people out there don't vibe with the notion of cultivating supportive and encouraging relationships. While I was sitting in complete comfort with my chums, out there, people were tearing each other to bits like hungry cats at a woven wall tapestry.
Building quality, lasting relationships is difficult. I'm not even referring to just romantic ones either; friendships, familial relationships etc. Even bands! I'm always impressed when bands stay together.
I know it can be draining to connect with others and it hurts when effort and time isn't reciprocated. It's tiring to try to keep up! Even still, you should try to create genuinely robust relationships, be fucking supportive and positive, be confidently vulnerable because damnit, it's so worth it.